Monday, March 2, 2009

They've Got VD

When it comes to material romance, America is not alone. February 14th also marks Japan's celebration of Valentines Day. But instead of a cash cow for flowers and Hallmark, chocolate companies hold the monopoly. And did I mention that only girls buy the gifts? That's right, talk about equality. Tradition dictates that only males are to receive the oishi (delicious) chocolates. But that's not even the best part. You don't even have to be sleeping with someone. In addition to the romantic gift, women are obliged to dish out plutonic gifts to friends, neighbors, and co-workers. There's no need to feel lonely in this country.

By now, your feminist veins are boiling. Simmer down because the chocolate companies aren't done yet. Just like the Hallmark created Grandparents, Nurses, and I Wet the Bed Day, they have spawned 'White Day.' Personally this has been a long time coming. Though I'm sorry to say it has nothing to do with the great race of the same name. Instead, 'White Day' is the reverse of Valentines Day. Yes ladies, you get your turn. And even though the unspoken rule is that men should double the chocolate/gift given to them, this is brilliance in its purest form. Got a cheap girlfriend? No problem. Even if your lady splurged, you still received a stellar gift. Plus, at least there is a realistic expectation. Women in America have taken over Valentines Day and instead of embracing a man's heart they send it to the hospital over the stress and confusion. Luckily, I've never been in a committed relationship during Valentines Day, until now. I thoroughly enjoyed my lady's delicious brownies, not to mention the cute frosting Engrish sayings, "Eat Me Cravak," and "I miss you." Obviously, I will go well beyond a double batch of brownies, and I'm happy to know what to work with. In fact, I'm so thrilled I have no qualms in censorilly saying, "F*** you American VD, I'm in love with another country's holiday."




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FREE CHOCOLATE!

Gifts I received from co-workers and students.

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Personalized

Crave likes brownies!

3 comments:

Cristina said...

man, all i can say... so lucky your not in this country anymore... lol
congrats on the girlfriend thing =)

Ronald said...

bet you did what that brownie said huh lol

Wendy said...

crap! i only made my valentine obligatory cds for listening to in the car. 'eat me' brownies would have been much more, well, effective, i think...