APPLE DAY

Now I've heard of 'An apple an day..." but this is ridiculous. Regardless, today was a special day for Aomori prefecture, as they chose to open their wallets. What did they spend it on? Tax incentives? Nope. Bribing business to set up shop? Nope. Poorly developed tourist traps? Nope. Instead they did the honorable thing, they spent it on the children. Every student enrolled in an Aomori public school, elementary through high school, received a present. A book, paper, pens, condoms? Nope. Instead they received apples. Four of them to be exact.

The children need the apples, I guess. Or rather the apple farmers, since Aomori's claim to fame are their luscious thick apples. Throughout the year they are hidden away in special blue bags before they ripen for the taste buds. These diva ringo tachi (apples) are so exquisite they come in protective styrofoam wrapping. If there is but one scratch or scar it must be sold at a discount with the other disabled apples. Speaking of which, the apples the students got didn't look all that dandy. Aomori better be careful with dishing out those retarded fruits, as the saying goes, "you are what you eat."

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Q: 'What do you do for a living?'

A: 'I deliver apples.'

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I Love Box

presenting the goods

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Apples Galore

Doctors are everywhere but near.

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Bag Man

He loves those apples!

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Caution: May Bite

I prefer my apples naked.