A TRAVELING SALESMAN

While America continues to rock the anti-soliticing movement, Japan embraces it. Apparently, the education world we are in the middle of book ordering season. I gotta a tell ya, what a treat. This equates to a flurry of Japanese businessmen and one woman hurriedly scampering around the world politely and persistently wasting everyone`s time with their sales pitch. This one guy bows so much he's gonna get punched in the groin. No doubt.

Basically here's the rundown.

1.) The office door slowly slides open

2.) A suited-up nervous man stands in the doorway

3.) He mutters some incoherent ancient polite phrase

4.) He takes a few steps forward, then turns around, comes back, looks around (this pitter pattering can go on for nearly 30 minutes)

5.) He locates his target and dips into his bag of books

6.) He stands to the side of the desk waiting for the right opportunity to strike

7.) When all is clear he'll say 'Gomenosai / Sumimasen (I'm sorry / Excuse me)' and the most pathetic salesmenship begins

8.) The business card. This takes a minimum of five minutes. For even though the teacher doesn't have time to hear this bullshit they will out of respect closely examine the salesmen's card.

9.) Then they talk in Japanese or some other language I don't understand. These guys seriously look like they have to use the bathroom as they squiggle about and frantically bow while explaining their text materials. Instead of a night on the town, candies, or even a happy ending they simply provide a thunderous supply of sample texts. How productively boring!

10.) Then pretending they're Michael Jackson they moonwalk away from the desk while bowing. Now that is a talent.

11.) They continue the epic moonwalk to the office door, give a polite bow, mutter some jargon and they vanish...until they show up 4 minutes later to attack another teacher.

12.) Ridiculous!

The table next to me is completely covered in sample books. My supervisor even just said, 'I'm a text collector.' I'm thinking we need to have a bonfire soon.

Soliticing = convenience....and if it is wazurawashii (annoying) simply laugh at it!